Following The Nudges

  • From Debt to Making a Difference

    Have you ever found yourself in major debt, thinking that you’ll be spending your life paying it off? Has your financial stress made you feel like you’re losing yourself? We all have found ourselves struggling, but what we do to get out of it is what truly matters. Kyle Depiesse is the creator and founder of the Reaching Beyond Experience and the Reaching Beyond Podcast. He was featured on The Dave Ramsey Show to talk about how he and his wife paid off $380,000 in 38 months to become completely debt free! Don’t miss out on the powerful advice Kyle has to offer and tune in!

    Here’s what we discussed in today’s episode:

    • Tips to get back on the right path
    • How to reach the highest level of fulfillment through connection with ourselves and others
    • How to build a fulfilling career
  • On the Other Side of Healing and Forgiveness

    Are you ready to release those negative emotions you’ve been holding on to for far too long?  Julie Jacky is an Emotional Freedom Technique Practitioner, Coach, Speaker, and the Author of “On the Other Side” which is going to be released late spring of 2020. Emotional Freedom Technique, also known as Tapping, is known to reduce stress and to help release any emotions you have yet to process!  Tune in and learn how this technique can help you release your negative emotions. 

    Here’s what we discussed in today’s episode:

    • Techniques to reduce stress
    • How to get rid of emotions that have been running your life
    • How to release emotions that you haven’t processed yet
  • Letting Go of the Old and Letting the New Transform You

    Jen Mavros is a socially conscious, creative entrepreneur, who has devoted her life to being a loving force and a guiding voice for positive change. She is the hostess of one of the top ranked Spiritual podcasts, The Jen Mavros Show, as well as the creator of Loving Business Forward and Loving Humanity Forward movements. Do you feel like you were meant for something different but you’re scared of what the unknown holds? Are you ready to let the “old” go and let the “new” transform you? Don’t miss out on expanding yourself and awakening your spirit.  

    Here’s what we discussed in today’s episode:

    • Stepping into new seasons of your life
    • Following the fire inside you
    • What it takes to shift your life in a different direction
  • Can We Stop Fear?

    Have you ever been scared, really scared?  Are there things that you are constantly in fear of?  Have you ever thought about your mind and gut connection?  Earle Hall is a two-time TEDx speaker, whose research focuses on neuroscience, human behavior, purpose, and personal health.  He is a Canadian Veteran Officer and an internationally recognized entrepreneur, visionary and innovator in several fields of technology.  Listen in to hear how being open and taking care of yourself can help you lead a more fulfilled life!

    Here’s what we discussed in today’s episode:

    • The science behind the connection between mind, body and soul
    • The importance of discipline
    • How clean eating affects your body’s ability to connect with mind and spirit
  • Learning What Matters Most

    On the first episode of the Living Alive Show, I’m speaking with Paul Dolman. Paul is an author, podcaster, professional musician, has founded an entertainment company and worked as a film producer in Hollywood. On today’s episode, Paul walks us through different tools that allowed him to move from a broken to a fixed place. We talk about what it looks like and sounds like when the Universe reaches out to send us a message and the importance of allowing those messages to come through.

    Here’s what we discussed in today’s episode:

    • What does grace look like
    • Tools to bring you from a broken to a fixed place
    • Listening to the universe
    • Different versions of success

    Can’t listen? Here’s the transcript:

    Autumn:
    Welcome to the Living Alive podcast. I’m Autumn Shields, a master connect coach, speaker, author and serial entrepreneur. And most importantly, your hostess, your to help you live your life alive. See, I believe we all have the ability to feel and be guided by life’s nudges to live on purpose. So I’m inviting you to take this journey with me, whether you were here just wanting to dip your toe in the water and see what this is all about, or maybe you are ready to dive deep. Thank you for joining us on today’s episode. On this show, you’ll hear powerful life changing stories from thought leaders of all walks of life that are stirring things up. We will guide you on living your life fully alive. How to identify the nudges and why live in a healthy lifestyle actually makes a difference. So get ready to be inspired, challenged, and connected because it’s your time to make a splash on today’s episode. You get to have a conversation with a man that helped inspire the show.

    Autumn:
    So he encouraged me to use my voice and he will help you find and use yours too. He urged me to express the way I’ve learned to live my life. I fall in what I call these things, the nudges, so I thought it was only appropriate to kick off the show by introducing you to him. He is the host of a podcast called What Matters Most and he also wrote the highly successful book Hitchhiking with Larry David. He has gone from being a professional musician, starting an entertainment company and being a film producer in Hollywood to now live in a life completely by design. He lives his life alive by living in grace and gratitude. I can’t wait for you to join me in a conversation with Paul Dolman. Paul, thank you so much for being here today.

    Paul:
    Oh, thanks for including me and I’m so inspired to be with you and also a shout out to you when you said you wanted to create a podcast. You’ve gone and done it once again. Like I remember back in Maui our days you were going to write a book and you did, way to fall through. That’s one of your fortes.

    Autumn:
    Well, thank you. I was actually thinking about that day today when we met, I must’ve been five years ago now. And I remember meeting you and then meeting you for coffee and just enjoying the conversation. And I remember you telling me that you just had this feeling of like, my throat chakra was stuck and then I had more to say to the world and I thought that was so odd that a stranger would just say this to me and look, a book came out and now you and I are sitting on this podcast and having this conversation. So how much fun is that?

    Paul:
    I love it. And you have a good memory like I do. I do remember that. We met in Willie Nelson’s bar in and we did have coffee among other adventures later, but that does sound like me being brutally, lovingly honest. But I saw so much light in you and I’m glad that you’ve decided to let it out the world needs.

    Autumn:
    Thank you. And then I remember you saying, well, let’s go meditate together. And I was just tiptoeing into meditation. I was like, this is so weird to just like hop across the street to a park and go meditate with some guy I barely knew and I remember you just on a journey and it definitely opened up so much for me and I’ve used meditation so much as a tool in my life as I know you have and we can dive in deeper a little bit with that. But I just thought this is so weird and you know, I didn’t know who you were, but it’s awesome that I can call you friend now and we’ve seen each other now. We’re both in Florida, so that’s fun. I know we’ve hung out on Martha’s Vineyard, our adventures continue.

    Paul:
    Maui was amazing. It was so beautiful. I remember going up to the Memorial center with you. It’s important to meditate. I think that’s the single most life changing thing I’ve ever decided to incorporate in my existence.

    Autumn:
    Well good because I’m definitely going to dive in and ask you a little bit more about things that have helped you along your journey. I’ve been looking forward to this conversation because of course I get to listen to you on your amazing show, What Matters Most, which is an amazing podcast. I’ve been able to listen to that for years, so I feel like I get to hear you all the time. It’s just, we don’t always get to connect and have these conversations. I’m super excited to just have this time today.

    Paul:
    Let’s do it. Let’s bring some light here.

    Autumn:
    So when I think about Paul, and I call it Paulinus of who you are, when just being around you as a human, you are a person that I believe that not only lives their life alive, but you truly, when I am around you, are an awe and wonder and of this world and everything around you. And you just hang out in this place of gratitude and it’s always energizing. It’s always amazing to be around you. We can be sitting there having coffee and you look at something and you’re just like, Oh my gosh, look at that. And you just go off into this place of gratitude and wonder of the world. It can be something so small or big, but you just live with that light and you live in that space. Has that always been the case for you?

    Paul:
    Thank you for that. That’s very kind and I wish I could say it always has been, but I’ve experienced a vivid and profound contrast. I think we come in as children, so awake and beautiful and perfect. And then society has all these systems and rules. Our parents, who I had the two of the finest parents who could have done their best, but the world tends to shut you down. It’s kind of barbaric. It’s not life affirming, it’s not opening. We’ve been sort of corralled into a drone like existence, so we could run the machines, which I guess was needed at one time or it’s part of the challenge of being here. So I fell asleep. I did profound sorrow and sadness and why am I here periods, but luckily through grace, I began to find my way back. But what’s beautiful about contrast in the circle of life, which is endless circles, I wouldn’t have known how beautiful it is to be in this state and I am in it right now if I hadn’t experienced the opposite.

    Paul:
    So I see it all as perfect now and is enriching to both sides. I still feel profound sadness. I got incredibly angry yesterday when some crazy tech issue happened for about 10 minutes and then it blew through like a storm front and then it was so clear after and so peaceful. I’ve learned to embrace being uncomfortable and feelings that are really hard as same way. It’s easy to embrace ecstasy, joy, total connection, although some people have a harder time with that for issues of maybe worthiness or other issues. But it’s been a process. It’s an eternal never ending process. And in this life it’s a linear process. And like anything, if I take care of a lot of little things, I’ve started to notice and realize they add up to a very good experience of being alive. And that doesn’t always mean pleasant, but just alive, aware, open, flowing, grateful and hopefully kind and with a yes to life. Like when you asked me to do this, I always say yes.

    Autumn:
    And when you said that out of those other places that you’ve been that have not been so pleasant, you said grace was one of the things. What is that? Grace for yourself? Grace from somewhere else, someone else? What does that grace look like for you?

    Paul:
    Hmm, that’s a beautiful question. Well, and what I love about the realm of grace is the paradox. It’s everywhere and it’s within, and you might say grace is luck or synchronicity. I think those are elements of grace, but for me, the grace of God, grace of spirit, grace of source, these are phonetics. Obviously that doesn’t really touch the essence of infinite love or intelligence. But I look at myself as one of the most fortunate souls ever. One because I exist and then I hit the life lottery. I had loving parents who stayed together 71 years. I grew up in America at a time where I didn’t have to go to a war. This morning, I turned on the faucet and clean water came out and I took a hot shower. I had something to eat yesterday while I was driving a car. I drove past people who were chilly at a bus stop who did not have that opportunity.

    Paul:
    My list of blessing is are endless. A lot of it beyond my control. I was born healthy. I see handicapped people all the time beyond my linear control, but grace came in more ways. There were outwardly to sorta interrupt my path when I was having a hard time. I discovered Joseph Campbell and The Power of Myth with Bill Moyers on PBS. I never watch TV. I happened to be reading something in the LA times that morning. I was living in LA at the time and Beverly Hills and you can be unhappy in Beverly Hills. I found out and I watched that series and it was life changing and then someone gave me a book, The Road Less Traveled or another book. Someone said, I’ve been thinking about meditating, and then someone said, do you want to meditate or do yoga? I started to do that. And then I was in Nashville and I was introduced to this wonderful energy healer, Bonnie Johnson.

    Paul:
    And then I started to go once a week and I felt like she put Humpty Dumpty back together again, energetically, spiritually. I climbed back, I climbed all the way back and my brokenness, and I’m still broken, but I’m pieced together in a beautiful way. There’s that Japanese word I can’t think of, but when pottery breaks, that’s priceless or whatever. They put it back together and they seal it with gold. And I think if we embrace our brokenness and do the healing, cause we’re all traumatized, then those areas can be golden. And our heart cracks open and then it’s larger. It’s like a crater from a meteorite and then all this water forms in it and the water can be love. So that’s what grace meant for me in a million lucky breaks. I wrote a book called Hitchhiking with Larry David became a huge hit.

    Paul:
    I was out hitchhiking in Martha’s Vineyard, trying to get over a heartbreaking break up with this girl named Miracle, real last name. And Larry David picked me up hitchhiking and we ended up having this incredible conversation. He drove me across the Island. And then from that conversation and subsequent adventures, I had a dream that was an awakened dream state. And the universe suggested I write a book called Hitchhiking with Larry David. And so I woke up, remembered it, wrote down the title, and then that happened. There’s been millions of experiences like that. It doesn’t have to be with someone well known or turn into a hip book or whatever. There’s just so much grace all the time. 24/7 s if I can get my linear egoic mind out of the way now and again, I not only witness it, I experience it and then I follow it and I’ll get to that later because I have a several techniques, cause I know you’re looking for some tools for people. And by the way, early disclaimer, there are infinite ways. Mine is just another way. It’s not a better way. So take what you can, if anything. And I hope that it helps.

    Autumn:
    Yes, thank you. What a beautiful picture of what grace is about being put back together. I think we have to accept it, you know? And for you to realize that you needed to accept it and embrace it and now share it, race is a big thing to start. And then you talked about the proactive things,

    Autumn:
    things that you started to take part in that maybe they seemed a little strange at first or why you were introduced to this person but accepted and started going on your journey. Any other tools that just kind of stand out at that place where you were really saying, you know what, I’m broken. I need to be put back together. What other things helped you

    Paul:
    At that time? Hmm. Well, and there’s some of the same tools I use now. One is, and I mentioned a minute ago, I do not watch television because it’s mostly garbage. I don’t know how people watch most of the shit that’s on there. That’s not to say there aren’t some good shows or I love a good movie, but the advertising for God’s sakes, can you imagine someone in your house every four or five minutes asking you to buy a car or take drugs or put on a new perfume? You’d call the cops or you jump out a window at least. Right? So insane. So I limit what comes into my mind, to my beautiful mind and everything. So I limit that kind of garbage. I learned that the better and the cleaner I ate, I felt better. Go figure. If I eat less sugar or no sugar, I feel better.

    Paul:
    If I cut down on dairy or drink no dairy, I feel better. I barely ever eat red meat unless my body says I need red meat. So I feel better. And whatever I eat, I try to bless it, because there was a couple billion people that don’t have any food, which is tragic considering we have more than enough, which is a strange place to be. And so there’s that. I try to exercise almost every day. I love to move my body. I learned that I love to be near the ocean, so I live a few blocks from the beach and I walk on the beach a lot, which opens up the wonder. I’m extremely careful with who I hang out with. I’m not a martyr. I don’t do things out of obligation just because so-and-so might not like this or that I give, but I have healthy boundaries.

    Paul:
    I don’t want to be around people that dragged me down hopelessly and negative in a spiral that never changes. Uh, what else do I do? I read a lot. I love to read. I’m insanely curious. I move through the world to make eye contact. I talk to strangers, I lift people up. I look to give first rather than to get, I try to just stay open and all of these things. I’ll tell you if you do these 22 things and to add a 23rd I open my day with a gratitude list in my mind and heart and then I try to close it with that. As I fall asleep, I just start giving thanks like I will later. For this interaction or the fact that you cared enough to ask. I did a my own podcast a few hours ago, so it’s a lot of little things.

    Paul:
    We’re looking for the grand gesture, the magic pill. There’s no such thing. And what happens is a lot of little things can add up to a beautiful and a million things go into all of a sudden somebody going, Oh look, overnight success and whatever success is. That’s another thing, I define success for myself. If I’m present, I’m loving and I’m at peace and I have more than enough. I’m wildly successful. If I did something kind today that I didn’t have to do, I’m successful. If I just lived through the day without pain, I’m successful. So I’m not trying to get more followers or more money. I just trying to be here and be a positive presence.

    Autumn:
    Yes, which you are. And you have expressed who you are and the places you’ve been in your other books, which are, so I’ve read all of them and they’re awesome. If you guys want to check them out, we’ll definitely put it in the show notes to get you to his website and experience all of his books because they’re about life and fun and pain and everything that is just, life. We all have ups and downs and yes, some of us are blessed in other ways and where we live and who we’re brought up with, but at the end, I think so many things are external. Like it’s so great that we get to live by the ocean and that’s what’s important to us. Maybe not somebody else, but I see people do this all the time or they just seek that external value, external relationship, external money, external job.

    Autumn:
    Like I will be happy when…Like it’s easy for you to be happy because you get to live by the ocean or Oh, you get to work for yourself or Oh, you just had a hit book or Oh and there’s all this focus on external. And I remember when I was living in Hawaii, learning that those externals things that we can’t control, most of them we can choose maybe where we live or the relationships we’re in and a lot of life is choice, but the real work has to be done internally because I can control how I interact with all of those things outside of my choices that I get and how awesome is that that I have control over that I don’t like to not have control, but I get to have that control and a lot of that control is that grace and gratitude. Bringing those things in internally and completely interacting with the world and such a drastically different way and the way we tell the stories, the way we interact, the way we see the world. It’s like putting on brand new glasses when we can really incorporate that grace and gratitude into our beans as a focus. Not just an idea.

    Paul:
    You can’t say it better than that. And you touched on a couple of very key points. And one of my secrets is, which is not a secret since I say it whenever anyone is kind enough to ask, is I have come to realize without any doubt 100% sure that there is nothing in the world externally that can happen, that I can achieve, acquire, or accumulate that will in any way increase, in essence, the value of who I really am. Nothing. I could have all of that and have these experiences, but I’m already whole. I’m already complete. I already am an aspect of the whole universe, which is unimaginable even to me. And in a bit of irony, even to the universe, it doesn’t know what it is. It’s a mystery to itself. So given that it takes the pressure off, if Oprah called after you and said, Hey, we want to do a series of shows, I love What Matters Most.

    Paul:
    Come out, we’ll do this, we’ll do that. Well, wow. And then somebody else called back and said, she changed her mind. Ah, nothing happened. Or even if it happens, I may go rushing towards it. And find out a year and a half in. I liked my life a lot better before, but I had an experience. And if Paul McCartney wants to come on the show, great, but then the day goes on and then we bury someone we love or our knee hurts or we’re a day older or we look at the sorrows of the world and our heartbreaks every day because we can’t seem to figure it out. So there is no external thing. So I try to judge it not by what I feel would enhance me. Since that’s a lie that you see on TV and in every magazine ad, that’s a brainwashing thing. So you can throw that out if you have enough awareness.

    Paul:
    I look to see what would be fun, what would be inspiring, what’s something different I could do that would be interesting to me. I’m curious about that. Maybe I’ll go live in Copenhagen for a month or so and see what that’s like. I might get there and after a week think, alright, maybe not a month, maybe eight days or I might stay three months. Then I might go to Norway or, who knows, but I’m just curious and what I like to do and other secret, it is in a sacred, I am constantly asking infinite intelligence. What does it want me to do next? What wants to come through me? Not this puny little Paul mind, ego limited form guy. Nah, I think he doesn’t know. As better as infinite intelligence, I’m going to go out on a limb on that one. And so what do you want me to do next?

    Paul:
    Why do you have a burrito? Oh, okay. Yeah. I’m hungry. Or fly to LA, fly to New York, stay home, make a right at the next street and go see so-and-so. I just listened. That’s all. What do you want me to do next? I don’t need the big plan.

    Autumn:
    When you listen Paul, what does that look like? So for somebody that doesn’t have that connection or understanding, is it like an app? You get emails? How are you listening? I wish it was that easy. I’m just going to email just a minute.

    Paul:
    Yeah. Really. You get this chip, the government puts in you and then what happens? Uh, no, don’t do that, whatever you do. You said someone that doesn’t have that connection. Here’s another thing, we all have it. If we ever had a device and it did some cool thing that you didn’t know, so they didn’t activate it.

    It didn’t slide the icon left or right or turn a button, that’s the story of my life. Technology and I have a strange dance that like Superman and kryptonite, but so everybody has that connection. But here’s a funny thing. People say, I don’t hear, I don’t get it. I don’t get that. Okay. Are you listening? Did you ask, are you ever quiet? Is it ever silent? When’s the last time you were alone with yourself without checking some device or with some noise to allow the time to connect? I will say this, the universe, which is so infant beautiful and loving, it does tend to whisper. Now it will drop a safe out of a building onto your head. If it’s giving you 72 warnings and you still haven’t got it. I’m trying. I’ve learned the lesson to the cautionary aspects early, less suffering.

    I’m allergic to suffering. So anyone can listen. Find a way, be still for 15 minutes and take out a journal. Light a candle. Close your eyes and just sit still. I hear a lot of people, I used to bullshit like this too. Oh, everything is a meditation. I walk around. Yeah, but when my eyes are open, my five senses are on overdrive because it’s also amazing. So just sit still. Turn the phones off. Find 15 minutes, 15 fucking minutes. You have 23 hours and 45 minutes to give to the world in your mind. Take 15 sacred minutes and just sit in silence and then keep a journal. Pay attention to your dreams. Eat cleaner food. Don’t watch crap before you go to sleep. Take a walk. Call up a friend. Notice things, start taking pictures, whether in your mind or with a camera.

    Slow down and listen. I guarantee you’ll hear something that way. Some people hear a voice, some people see things, numbers, they write in messages. For me, it’s like I hear it even though it’s not my ears, although I’ve had that happen on occasion. It’s just like a inner knowing, go here, do this, do that. Go. And I have to say sometimes it’s like, Oh, but I don’t want to do that. But then if I listen, it works.

    Autumn:

    I usually say, you have the wrong number. What’s your second choice?

    Paul:
    That’s right. Somehow I was in Martha’s Vineyard. It was glorious. And I asked as I do all the time, what do you want me to do next? And it was like, go to New York city. And I’m like, no, I don’t want to go to New York city.

    I don’t like the city. And the vineyard is paradise. But then I got a call from these people there, it was the climate change week and Gretta was going to be there and all these other folks. Do you want to come down and be a part of these meetings? And I thought, shit, yes, click no. And I went and it was wonderful and then I came back. Here we go with contrast again. It was such a vivid contrast and the heavenly Martha’s Vineyard. It was a shock at first. I liked it. Then I couldn’t wait to leave and when I got back the vineyard had never tasted so sweet or seem so steel.

    Autumn:
    Okay. Yes. Isn’t that fun to play with? So I love that you have acknowledged and have given other people permission and know that there’s nothing special about people that are guided by nudges or are living their life alive. It is literally just learning tools to be quiet and finding that connection. I love that analogy about a phone because every time somebody shows me something on my phone, I’m like, I’ve had that the whole time? Like you’re kidding me! I just made my whole life so much easier knowing that one little trick on my phone and it’s the same thing. I love that analogy that you gave about that connection. It’s there for everybody.

    Paul:
    Yeah. Make sure the ringer is on and that you’re available for it. And there’s nothing special about me that isn’t special that anyone listening and honestly I’m no better than the common house fly or the galaxy out there. It’s all just different versions of the same thing. A Jesus who was a lot smarter than me, he said, and you shall do greater thing. I mean that’s an avatar and all these beings did who were special, who we usually end up killing but then, like Martin Luther King, we put their name on boulevards or churches, we get rid of them first cause they’re radicals and they’re scary. But the key is all of them showed the same thing that it’s available to anybody if we tap into it. You just got to say yes and have the courage to be who you really are and not what you think everyone else wants or what the world wants. That’s your big brave step there. Just go be, you don’t hurt anybody but just be the authentic you. Authenticity is worth its weight in gold because you will sleep like a rock at night.

    Paul:
    And that 15 minutes a day is so great because part of my morning routine, I have a very stringent morning routine that helps me in my day. And of course it starts with meditation and prayer time, but I clock out 15 minutes a day to learn something new. Tech wise I liked easier or different programs I’m interacting with every day so I get better at them and just to think that I’m willing to do that for programs and technology that 15 minutes, cause I know it’ll make my life easier. But that 15 minutes of meditation sometimes seems tough to do and it’s the same thing. It’s just makes life so much clearer and not necessarily easier.

    Autumn:
    Just like you said, sometimes you don’t want to take that trip to New York, but it’s not an easier thing. It’s a clearer, it brings purpose. It brings that passion to the forefront. So really quick, I wanted to step backwards for a second. When you brought up value, I didn’t realize how I actually attributed value to my own name or life or person this last year and it was a big lesson for me. When you think about when you were in your 20s and 30s and producing in Hollywood and as a musician doing different things, how did you place your value on yourself then?

    Paul:
    Well, that’s a good question. I was mostly unhappy even though I was a super duper achiever and I remembered at one point in my late twenties I achieved a monumental task and the joy lasted about 25 minutes. And then I wasn’t happy again and I started to think I might have to jump off a rooftop because I see the games the way the mind is rigged right now. My software, this is going to be a long, long ride. I don’t know if I’m up for it. Everything was externally derived and achievement oriented and I think that’s part of being. I see people still trying to make something of the cells. You’re going to have to have to do that. You have to earn enough money to exist, but you can earn a lot less if you don’t buy a lot of stupid things.

    You don’t need the latest, greatest shiny, stupid thing. You can save a lot of money. And then that buys freedom and time, which is the only thing you have limits on. So I went through the phase and I was successful by the world’s standards, America standards. I started an entertainment company in Nashville from nothing. And of course the first few months it generated $0 million and was a catastrophe because it’s a great idea. It just didn’t generate any money. Companies are not long for this world that way. But then I got to go in and I played the role of successful guy. And got the big black BMW and had a Rolex in Armani suits and that was important in that world. And then at some point my soul just said, nah, I’m out.

    Paul:
    There was a one-year discussion between the personality and the soul negotiation. Really it was the personality trying to stall and then at some point the soul said, either we wind this down or I wind you down. And I knew what it meant. It wasn’t going to be fun. So rather than get cancer, I decided to get out of the entertainment industry and the beautiful God said, Hey, you can always go back. Just try it. And in a bit of great irony, because infinite intelligence knows once I was out, I got to tell you Autumn, I didn’t miss it for a minute. Ever. Not a minute did I miss showing up. I know I missed the money, but not really. I’ve never gone hungry. If anything, I should skip a few meals, a couple pounds overweight and now you couldn’t pay me anything to go back to run a music thing or whatever. There’s no amount of money. There’s number, it’s completely flipped. Every once in awhile I’ll have that voice in my head, what if something bad happens? All of a sudden it throws me a scenario. What if we had zero money and we had live on the streets. I don’t let her do that in the middle of the night. But it’s like, stop it, you’re just playing. What if something bad happens? Right now we have enough and hopefully we’ll always have enough.

    Unless we don’t. Isn’t that fun to live in that place of I have enough, versus living in fear all the time that something bad is going to happen or I don’t have enough. I’m just completely fear-based.

    It’s so crazy. There’s a tiger out there, right there in the reeds, that’s that part of the brain trying to keep us alive. And I realized when that, what if we run out of money guy. He woke me up a couple of times years ago. Thank God it’s been a while. And he had us living in a box behind the Wal-Mart. And I said, but wait a minute, and this is when I had a lot more money. I said, what are you? Are you not sin? Of course it is. So I reset those. I said, you wake me up If we ever get below $10,000 cause I really do want to know then maybe we’re going to have to do something that we don’t want, but hopefully not. That’s bad English. We’d have to inspire something that brought in more coupons. There was a better way to say it, which will always happen. So after I set the presets and save, it only woke me up one other time and I said, Oh my God, are we below 10? And it said, Oh yes, sorry. And it never bothered me again. So check your presets.

    That’s true. Why those presets for each person? It’s crazy to think what those presets are, but we can set them for whatever we think we need to feel safe with. And it’s so funny. It’s money. I know money. I have a great mentor and she always says, money’s not everything. It’s just right up there with oxygen. You don’t think you need it really until you’re out of it. And then it feels like you don’t have oxygen. But that preset is so different for each one of us.

    Well, too much or too little of anything is a bad scene. I know people that have billions who are not happy any more than you are. And then you need a balance; you need to have enough food, enough this and that. I think the number’s like $80,000. They did all these studies and he started getting in the upper reaches and it really creates a lot of problems. It’ll isolate you from others and ultimately if you have a lot, the best thing to do with it is to just try to put it in the flow and do good things. It can be a great force for good. Unfortunately, ours is a hoarding culture. We celebrate hoarding and I just read the other day that 23 billionaires in the world own as much as half the world’s population. That’s why the world is a mess. Hoarding. Got it backwards. It’s sad. Maybe we’ll get it. Maybe we won’t. We’ll say, Oh, of just being able to not only have choices for your own life and those that you know you love, but to throw it into the flow of things that you find are important to you and make the world a better place. So much fun.

    Autumn:
    I am so appreciative of this time and all of your wisdom and experience. And again, for those of you that would like to connect with Paul and hear his amazingness more, please look up his podcast, What Matters Most. It’s a lot of fun, some great, amazing guests on there. And of course his amazing books that are, I have them all on my shelf and you know, that’s a big deal because I travel a lot and I live all over the place and it’s my books that I always have a hard time giving up or leaving behind. So I’m always bringing boxes of books, which is hilarious or shipping them, but they are important to me so I love them. But thank you Paul so much for your time today and I look forward to seeing you sometime in Florida this winter.

    Paul:
    Yeah, and hopefully in the vineyard too. I really enjoyed this. You asked excellent questions that I’m excited to see another area of your life blossom.

    Autumn:
    Awesome. Thank you so much Paul. Have an awesome day.

    Autumn:
    Thank you for joining us and I hope you enjoyed today’s show. And remember, good friends don’t keep great messages to themselves. So keep the ripples moving and share this episode with your friends. Also, wherever you listen to podcasts, please take a moment to review or download this episode. I would love to connect with you. Regardless of where you’re at on your journey. Maybe you’re feeling like you can’t set sell, or maybe you’re out there rock in the open seas. Find me at autumnshields.com or on social and say hello. If you would like a complimentary coaching session, all you have to do is click on, let’s connect and let me know three things that you would like to get out of the conversation and we will make it happen. So make today the day you decide to live your life alive and leave room for the unimaginable. So until next time, keep following the nudges.

  • Shedding The Shadow

    Is there a shadow over you? You don’t always see it, but you know it is there. Although it doesn’t weigh anything, it feels like the weight of the world. It is the shadow that has been cast over you. It’s the shadow that regardless of where you go, how fast you run, what you grow into…it is there. You may know why it is there. You may even know who cast it there. It is still there. Was it the person who said those words that cast the shadow? Was it those expectations of others that cast a shadow over you? Are you living in someone else’s shadow? Was it the judgement from others? What is that shadow?

    How is the shadow serving you in anyway? Be honest. Is it keeping you out of the light so you will not be judged by others? Is it causing you to play small in your own life? Are you hiding from your authentic self? Is it hindering you from being the most amazing, radiant, magnificent YOU? Maybe you don’t even remember what the amazing bright light feels like. Is the shadow holding you back from living your life alive?

    What if you were able to recognize that you deserve to live a life out from underneath the shadow? What would be different about your life? Know that the light…and shedding the shadow…is only one step away. It is one decision. Shedding the shadow will serve you better than living under the shadow. You must first know how amazing you are…YOU! Deep down you know this to be true. You were created for greatness. You were created to shine. If you don’t believe it, could you at least think about the possibility of it being true? Imagine what shedding shadow would feel like.

  • Believing The Lie

    You had that one moment frozen in time. The moment came and went as quick as you could blink your eye. Such a small amount of time, but the impact was immeasurable. It was that moment in time where you believed the lie. It is the lie that someone told you about yourself or how you perceived someone else’s actions and internalized it.

    The thing that was said or done can feel paralyzing. How could this be? How did this happen? Their words or actions caused your heart to feel like it literally broke in half. That moment has passed, but what happened will always be.

    Well, there are three ways to look at it, to perceive it, to frame it or to tell the story.

    The above picture says a lot. There are three doors and we will explore three different common stories.

    You walk right past door #1. It may be too easy to walk through.

    Instead, you start with door #2. You walk in and see that situation and believe what you see. Door #2 says, “You are stupid and that is why it happened.” Yes YOU! You made the foolish choice and that is why it happened. You should’ve known better. Looking back the signs were there. You are smarter than that choice, but you made a decision and now look what happened! But who wants to look in the mirror and see stupid?

    So let’s see what is behind door #3. You walk in and you see that situation and see that you are not enough. If you were enough it would not have happened. If you could have only been better, different, or just acted like someone else, it wouldn’t have happened. You didn’t measure up to what was expected or needed. The games continue to play in your mind and you have a hard time seeing the situation. You feel unworthy and devalued. Why do you feel that way? Is that really the truth? You feel a nudge that tells you, “You ARE enough!” You have a hard time believing it, but you walk out and then notice door #1.

    Finally, you decide to walk through door #1. You knew it was there the whole time. As you walk through this door you see the situation, but you are simply observing like a fly on the wall. You can see it had little or nothing to do with you. Really? Are you sure? You seemed to play such an important role. You can see the other person/people’s actions going on even though you are not part it. It is still occurring without you there. You can see that it was happening before you got involved with that person or in that situation. You can also see that it is going on in the future. How can this be? You can now see that without you, there is still that personality, that addiction, that anger, that betrayal, that drama, that deception, that unforgivness, that abuse and what happed in that moment of time that broke your heart to begin with.

    You have learned a lot from visiting the rooms, but staying in any of these rooms too long will only hold you hostage to that moment in time where you believed the lie. I would like to invite you to take a walk with me down the street. Look at all the other doors. Look at all the opportunities. Behind each one is a new experience that will continue to help you on your journey. You are seeing clearly now. You can see the truth. Keep exploring behind the doors and have fun, but choose the doors carefully.

  • Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe

    A tribe is defined as a social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect, typically having a recognized leader.

    My tribe is different. My tribe comes from all different backgrounds. My tribe is diverse.

    My tribe is my tribe because they understand me, they get me, they see me, they accept me for being me. They are loyal. They know how to give and receive love. They stretch me. They don’t allow me to play small. They have a drive for learning more and growing. They show me grace where I fall short. They have shown me what unconditional love is through their actions. They understand that grace is the ingredient in true love, not judgment. My tribe loves people in the same way I feel love from God.

    Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said, “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” I agree with this to a point. The energy and influence of others impact us daily. However, much of my tribe lives far away in another land and the impact these amazing people have on my life is powerful.

    Who we surround ourselves with can make or break us. Who is in your tribe? Are you authentically you? Are you the best you when you are around these people?

    Every year I chose one word to focus on. During 2016 I focused on the word CONNECTION. I have learned that connecting truly means giving and receiving on many different levels. Self-sufficiency, self-protection and self-efficiency, have been things hindering me from true connection. Is there something hindering you from connecting with others on a deeper level? What would things look like if you could connect deeper with others?

    During the first nine months of the year, I thought I was coming to a better understanding of connection. However, it wasn’t until the last three months of the year when I contracted an illness from a bug bite, did I truly learned that real connection comes from not only giving but receiving. It is one of the most amazing things about the human experience. We don’t always have to be the one that has it all together, with all the understanding and have all of the resources. We can be the one in need. It allows others to express their love and give the gifts they were meant to give. It gives us the opportunity to say, “Thank you!” So, to you, I say, “Thank you!”